5.16.2009

Verse for the Depressed Fan

As I reread Tennyson's Lotus Eaters a few days ago, I realized that we fans share a fate similar to that of the stranded Greeks . We've become contented with mediocrity and disappointment, and we know that -- at least for now -- the closest we'll ever come to seeing our team reach its goal is in a REM cycle.

Part VIII of Tennyson's magnum opus:
VIII

The Lotos blooms below the barren peak,
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The Lotos blows by every winding creek;
All day the wind breathes low with mellower tone;
Thro’ every hollow cave and alley lone
Round and round the spicy downs the yellow Lotos-dust is blown.
We have had enough of action, and of motion we, 150
Roll’d to starboard, roll’d to larboard, when the surge was seething free,
Where the wallowing monster spouted his foam-fountains in the sea.
Let us swear an oath, and keep it with an equal mind,
In the hollow Lotos-land to live and lie reclined
On the hills like Gods together, careless of mankind. 155
For they lie beside their nectar, and the bolts are hurl’d
Far below them in the valleys, and the clouds are lightly curl’d
Round their golden houses, girdled with the gleaming world;
Where they smile in secret, looking over wasted lands,
Blight and famine, plague and earthquake, roaring deeps and fiery sands, 160
Clanging fights, and flaming towns, and sinking ships, and praying hands.
But they smile, they find a music centred in a doleful song
Steaming up, a lamentation and an ancient tale of wrong,
Like a tale of little meaning tho’ the words are strong;
Chanted from an ill-used race of men that cleave the soil, 165
Sow the seed, and reap the harvest with enduring toil,
Storing yearly little dues of wheat, and wine and oil;
Till they perish and they suffer—some, ’tis whisper’d—down in hell
Suffer endless anguish, others in Elysian valleys dwell,
Resting weary limbs at last on beds of asphodel. 170
Surely, surely, slumber is more sweet than toil, the shore
Than labor in the deep mid-ocean, wind and wave and oar;
O, rest ye, brother mariners, we will not wander more.

From Ulysses:

Come, my friends,
’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths 60
Of all the western stars until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’ 65
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

In Memoriam XXVII

I envy not in any moods
The captive void of noble rage,
The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:

I envy not the beast that takes
His license in the field of time,
Unfetter’d by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;


Nor, what may count itself as blest,
The heart that never plighted troth
But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
’Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.


It's a shame that so many of us are subjected to Whitman, Longfellow, Kerouac **puke**, and Ginsberg **double puke** while Blake and Tennyson gather dust on some bookshelf in the back of the room.

I have absolutely no problem saying that I think the world would be a better place had Ginsberg never lived and Howl never been published. Ginsberg was a huge influence — there can be little doubt about that. I’d be curious to know just how many adolescents he’s helped channel cognitive pity-parties into self-serving, whiny, yet shocking — and therefore “profound”– rants about society.

Forgive me for not seeing his — and really most of the Beats’ — pseudo-intellectual teen angst as art.

The fact that Ginsberg can be spoken in the same breath as Tennyson and Blake — whether Ginsberg really did have his “Blake moment” — makes me physically ill.

If you can get off from Ginsberg, I highly recommend this.

That's all.

5.14.2009

"Oh rest ye, brother mariners, we will not wander more"

The end of all things...
Don't blame McCreary. Don't blame Green. Don't blame Semin. Don't blame The Establishment. Don't blame Ted. Don't blame the keep. Don't blame McPhee. Don't blame your pre-game ritual. Don't blame The Man. Don't blame your once lucky skivvies. Don't blame the ice. Don't blame the coaching staff. Don't blame the crowd. Don't blame the Hockey Gods.

Winning a series is a team effort.
Crapping the bed is a team effort.
Stepping up is a team effort.
Giving two shits is a team effort.

One team came to play.

One team was true to its identity.

One team religiously stuck to its system.

One team decided to give it all.

One team showed tenacity.

One team won.

As a uniquely brilliant and sagacious man once said:

"Oh rest ye, brother mariners, we will not wander more"

Over and out, bitches. Over and out.

5.13.2009

SnagFilms: "My Shaolin Temple style defeats your Monkey style"

I've always thought professional athletes must have had childhoods similar to those of the Spartans, Jedi, or Shaolin Monks. The Michael Scott-ism aside, this documentary encapsulates the road to the NHL more completely than this one ever could.

This is what we live for, people: Game seven. It's go time.

5.12.2009

"Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance To The Radio"


Caps 5, Pens 4 (OT)
Last night was the first time in a long while that I turned up my stereo instead of listening to the color-commentary. I was not optimistic. I was not hopeful. Given the option, I'd much rather listen to The Pixies and The Clash when the alternative is Doc's verbal fellatio, or Crosby's between period interviews. Doolittle, Surfer Rosa, and London Calling... Hockey music.

As for the game, give Varlamov full marks. Again. It was a horrendous, lopsided first frame. The Caps were out-shot, out-hustled, and out-hit. It was a miracle that Varly only let in one goal, considering the gross dearth of decent defensive play he had to endure.

It was hardly a dominating performance from Alex Semin, but Flash wouldn't have bagged his third goal had Semin stopped moving his legs and given up on the play. He could stand to be a little more mobile and dynamic on the power-play, though. Enough of this perimeter crap.

We're still waiting for Green to show up.

Steckel and Bradley were outstanding. I'm always a little miffed when our grinders out-perform our supposed scoring lines.

The moral of the story? Don't bet against a young squad with prodigious skill and fire-power -- especially when Ovechkin is heading the offensive.

The White Stripes' Black Math just may be the perfect Hockey song. The transition at 1:05 reminds me of Backstrom slowing the tempo at his leisure.

Watching Jay Leach rub Bruce's bald spot like hunchback's hump is about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Good times:

5.10.2009

"Before You Do As The Devil Pleases"

Caps 3, Pens 4
Remember walking with you by my side
You were my Papa and I was your pride
Now I've got children and I'm going grey
No time for talking I got nothin' to say
--The Kinks

There are times when I curse myself for caring so much about this goddamn sport.
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5.09.2009

Jurciiiiiiina Is A Punk Rocker


Pens 5, Caps 3
Perhaps the best thing that can be said about the match is that most Caps fans didn't pay for tickets. Between Ovechkin's lackluster performance and knee-on-knee hit, Varly's mimicry of a block of Emmental, and the fact that Crosby bagged the game-winner... I suppose AA was created for a reason.

Some thoughts:
--Varly made the hard saves easily enough. I wonder if baseball is big in Russia. A breezy shot from the point must be something like a yawning pop-fly. It's okay, buddy; Jordan wasn't much of an outfielder, either. Perhaps floating shots from the blue line are the only way Lord Varlamov can truly be vanquished. (Now can we cut the tragic optimism?)

--As the season wears on, Feds is becoming nearly as frustrating as his compatriot, Sasha. It was a beauty of a marker in game seven, but Gramps has been sorely mediocre during his series against The Anointed One and Co, scoring only two points, despite playing on the top line for long stretches.

--Bradley and Gordon made the third goal. Juice was the one to shoot it at the net, yes, but Brads and Gordon just about pinned the Pens in their own zone while playing a man down. They're playoff performers to be sure, and my guess is that if every Caps skater cared as much as our third and fourth lines, post-season success wouldn't be such a bleeding mystery.

--The playoffs may be a time for unlikely stars to shine, but guys who get paid superstar salaries could show up once in a while, as well. Green and Semin -- let's kick it in the ass, shall we?

--Brash is a nice guy. The Front Page is a disappointment, though.

--I apologize for the title. The Ramones deserve better.

5.05.2009

I lump it. I lump it a lot.

Caps 4, Pens 3
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I don't know that I can add anything meaningful that hasn't already been said.
I have seen the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I have visited Shakespeare's grave. I have lived in -- yes -- Salt Lake City. This post-season is the closest I've ever come to a religious experience -- a little hyperbole for you.

5.04.2009

Introducing TTT Photo

My Side Project

TTT Photo will be used as a supplement to Tic Tac Toe Hockey to make my life easier. New photos both edited and rough will be uploaded to TTT Photo, and the full archive should be online sometime after the SC Finals.

Tic Tac Toe Hockey is still the main event, but maybe there's someone out there who can stand more pixels. In the words of The Doors, "Love me two times."

Enjoy.

5.02.2009

3,038

A playoff win against the Pens... In the imperishable words of Gwen Stefani, "I'm feelin' hella good, so let's just keep on dancing."

Indeed.

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Above images copyright Jimmy Jazz, 2009

I should apologize for the quantitative dearth; one of my lenses was acting up.

Who The Hell Is This Guy???

Caps 3, Pens 2
Olie Kolzig might be the most beloved Caps player of all time, but I'll be the first to admit that aside from the '98 run, he wasn't really a "postseason" goalie. He was consistently good, and at times, he was truly sublime, but he never seemed able to do it game in and game out, once May rolled around.
Posting two shutouts in the playoffs is an impressive feat, even against an offense as anemic as the Rangers', but rising to the occasion against a hungry team with two potential Hart winners means so much more.
The Caps had no business coming out of the first period with a lead. That the Caps couldn't get even one shot on goal ten minutes into the game is awful. That they could keep it tied, and eventually lead going into the second, speaks volumes about Varlamov's play.

There's something to be said about our energy players' Pantagruelian will. The win was truly a team effort -- all four lines, the keep, and the coaching staff.



I'll post my pics of the game later, but here's one to savor in the meanwhile: