Putting Hallmark Out Of Business

I'm going with the "top ten moments," as everyone else in the blogosphere has beaten me to the "top ten games" punch. Bastards.

10. Zilla Returns
Much like a coffee date with an ex to "gain closure," Olie's return was bittersweet and awkward. Kolzig is my all time favorite Cap, and one the franchise's most beloved players; he has just about every club goaltending record, 300 wins, and a devil of a left hook. "Devil of a ____" I may be channeling my late paternal grandfather. Olie's video tribute left nary a dry eye in the Phone Booth. In fact, if his salute/half wave to the crowd didn't make you lachrymose, you just might be an emotionless asshole. Or Jason Bourne. Take your pick.

9. Techie's Big Day
There isn't much more to be said about the desk jockey turned NHL backup. I'd sell my kidneys to have such luck.

8. Plug and Play Hockey
With half of the payroll kicking it on the IR, some of the scrubs depth players got time to shine in the big time. Chris Bourque scored his first NHL marker. Tyler Sloan drew a nine minute power-play (which WAS NOT converted.) I'm still kind of pissed about that. Aucoin made some things happen, too. Think of the rest by yourself.

7. The Water Bottle Incident
This is the one time I regret not bringing my super-telephoto with me to the 400 level. I had a chance to capture Torts at his being's core, and I missed it. I'm generally against spiking one's drink with benzos, but you can't tell me that Torts wouldn't be a skosh more tolerable after a cup of Valium coffee. By the way, his tantrum is four times funnier in french.

6. Ovechkin's Goal Against the Slugs
This goal -- not either against Montreal or the Rags -- is my favorite of the 08/09 season. It was an impressive, full court effort -- three guys, from his own zone, falling down. The end.

5. Enter Czarlamov
Bruce's biggest payoff was born of a nearly reckless decision to yank Theo for game two against the Rags. That same decision produced the series MVP. Lundqvist who? By the way, I'm not a fan of "The Iron Curtain" -- not exactly an original nickname for a Russian keep.

4. Dueling Hatties
Anytime a generational talent and a whining, over-hyped but talented douche bag score six goals over three periods... That's good Hockey. The Caps won: That's great Hockey.

3. Gordo's GWG
I was sitting in Bugsy's watching the Caps fall apart when I realized I had to take a $30 piss. To that point, the Caps had played like junkies in withdrawal, and it looked like our boys were in for another shelling at the hands of the Black and Gold. Down 3-0 on the road...
Ovechkin was playing like a checking winger, not a superstar. The rest of the team just looked like crap. Upon my return, the Caps had gotten themselves back into the game. Then Gordo scored on a wrister. It was lovely. Mike Lange was irritated. I've always liked Mike Lange, though.

2. Feds' Game Seven Doozie
Continuing with the 50s slang, we now look at Feds' imitation of Alex Ovechkin's pull up/use the D as a screen wrister.
/Series.

1. Mo's OT Winner
It wasn't a miracle, but it was one hell of a game. After overcoming a four goal deficit, the Caps sent the game into sudden death OT. Morrisonn -- not traditionally an offensive dynamo -- took a rebound slapper from the top of the circle. Goodbye. Game over. Merry Christmas, and God bless America.

Mo had the sweetness.